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A “zuihitsu” of my very own?

Since I started reading Sei Shōnagon’s The Pillow Book, I’ve been so intrigued by idea of zuihitsu (“random notes” or “occasional writings”) which is a respected literary genre in Japan. I don’t think we have anything quite like it? Journaling is (or can be) very similar, but I don’t think we consider it to be a literary genre, just private writing.

When I started this Substack (after months and months of waffling), I didn’t know what it was or what I want it to be. I just wanted to share. I was tired of creating thing that sat on my laptop, never seeing the “light of day.” But I was also afraid to make it public—what would people think? I love a lot of things and I don’t focus; I drift (like that feather I use for my icon). It’s Greek goddess and myths one day, Heian poetry another, music, music videos, video shorts, history, erotic stories, naughty things—even a rant or three now and again. No plan, no organization, no predictability…

Who’d want to see that?

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It fascinates me that Murasaki Shikibu got so annoyed with Shōnagon because she just so disorganized, flighty, entranced by every little thing.

Me too. And I thought most people would feel the same about me: disorganized, flighty, entranced by every little thing; “Why can’t you just settle down for once?”

Yikes! Was I ready for that? But Riley Rose encouraged me, maybe ironically Murasaki did to. I reread what she said in her diary “But from now on I shall fear nothing. Whatever others may do or say, I shall recite my prayers tirelessly…” and between her words and Riley’s hope, I thought “Why not”?

Fear is not a very useful feeling. It paralyses us more than anything. We don’t profit by it, especially when it’s fear of what other may think of us. So I did it.

I created my little space here. My cluttered, messy, disorganized little nest. It probably doesn’t deserve to be called a zuihitsu; I’m not at that level as it feels self-indulgent to even say it. But it’s a cool word. 😉 I like it. So maybe I’ll say it.

Just a little.

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